Top 10 Worst Music Videos: 6-1

6. Baltimora - Tarzan Boy (1985)
Woww! Ease up on the eyeshadow, dude. And the same goes for smack.
Bonestructure isn't everything you know!




5. David Zed - Robot (1980)
His name seems to come straight from your run-of-the-mill 19th century sideshow. Appearently 'sad' translates into 'zed' in downtown Italy / Moldavia / Tzadjikistan. Be sure you've made it to the toilet before the robot starts eating!




4. Kano - It's a war (1981)
Cool song, cheerful people and strange but athletic dancemoves, what's the catch here? Well, the catch is that Kano (who ISN'T even in the video) got himself listed by letting his golden clad counterpart do 'his thang'. He slithers all over two unsuspecting girls and nearly chokes them with the one-eyed snake!




3. The Surfers - Windsurfing (1979)
All the way from Holland: The Surfers. It's a miracle the sport survived this.
The reasons for the fake moustache and beard we leave with the viewers' imagination.




2. Rockets - Galactica (1980)
2nd place. This must be something good, right? Posing in rocketsuits will get you a high rating any day. And as we have seen, a mental condition will only add to that! Whatever drugs this guy was using, we're pretty sure they're A-listed now.




1. Fancy - Bolero (1985)
Voila, le 'piece de resistance'!
The choice for no.1 wasn't hard, as this feeble attempt to exploit some dracula-extra's will show. Geriatric gas station attendants as background dancers; portraits of the leadsinger; the black and red scenery....we're in hell !! And see, who has come to recieve us!
As one viewer put it:
"The song is ok, but the video MIGHT SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!"

Top 10 Worst Music Videos: 10 - 7

10. Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance (1982)
Rural types including a midget, frollicking about in Brittish countryside.
Thankfully, these hordes in heat are aware of their mental condition.
The line "..and i can act like an imbecile" says it all.




9. Stryper - Calling on you (1986)
Of course our list isn't complete without at least one rockband.
And did we find one. Some day, some smartass thought "Hey, these guys would look great in bee-outfits!". As unclear as the leadsingers gender may be, you can't miss Stryper. Bonuspoints if you spot the striped legwarmers.




8. Silver Convention - Get up and Boogie (1976)
The audience isn't getting up to boogie at all. They're drugged and/or paralized. But that's Germany in the old days. So it won't come as a surprise that in the inbetween bits, we see people backstage failing on their timing, and in the end
deciding to kill one another.(...)




7. Freeez - Pop goes my love (1983)
Too many people with white gloves on creates a funeral effect.
As this thing progresses, it's not hard to spot targets for an imminent passage to the afterlife. Only the bassplayer looks to be in the clear. He's known to be good and seems out of place here, acting somewhat like a sane person.
Seems, because there isn't any bass in this song..